Thanks, Macho Man. And my new move to impress The Peanut

Well, we all survived the Rapture thanks to the events that took place in the picture above.  I found it on the internet, so it has to be true.  6 PM rolled around Saturday night, and when i didnt see a wave from Lake Erie heading toward the putting green at Pine Hills, I breathed a huge sigh of relief.  Here is my biggest problem with the whole thing...As a member of society, I can't call in a bomb threat to my office building without getting arrested, so why can this asshole from FamilyRadio.com say that the rapture/end of the world is coming, and have nothing happen to him?  Additionally, he collects over $100 million in donations, and nothing happens, where is all that cash now?  A true Christian would return the funds, but no chance in hell that happens.  Pun Intended.

For all 8 people that actually still watch SNL, this past weekend was worth the watch.  My boy, J Timberlake hosted with Gaga as the musical guest.  Almost all the classic Timberlake skits were in effect: Bring it on down to (insert cause)ville, The Barry Gibb Talk Show (complete with a hilarious Jimmy Fallon), and of course a new SNL Digital Short.  It brought back our favorite chin strap donning, 90's suit wearing boys famous for sticking their junk in boxes, and banging each others mom's.  This time they taught us some very important life lessons.  First, "The Golden Rule", which states that it's not gay, when its in a three-way.  Next, nothing sets the mood like some Bartles and James or Alluze.  Finally, and most importantly if you are looking to impress a chick, helicopter dick.



The video can be seen here. 

Hope everyone had a great weekend, and is looking forward to a nice long one upcoming.

Cheers,

Bobbaganoosh

The Rapture is Coming...

I'm not a religious man, and consider myself a skeptic for the most part.  I say "Jesus Christ", "Goddamnit", and all the other heathen phrases that will send me to eternal damnation.  Whatever, at least im not an idiot who pisses his money away.

Bart Centre, an atheist from Alstead, New Hampshire, started Eternal Eath-Bound Pets, a service for when the Rapture comes, he will take care of your pet for a very fair $135.  And if you have multiple pets, its only $20 per additional pet.  What a deal!   What is the phrase...."Hell hath no fury like God's scorn for those who rip others off"?  The sad thing is, this douche has already had almost 260 people sign up for his services.  Whatever, at least the little guy in the picture below is all good...



In related news, FamilyRadio.com, the people who made the prediction 9 years ago that the Rapture would take place on May 21, 2011, have had over 100 MILLION DOLLARS donated to their cause over the past 9 years to place over 5,000 billboards up and spread their message.  God, there are a lot of stupid people out there.  They obviously didn't use any of the money to build a great website, look at this piece of shit.  Looks like something I designed in that pedophile Mr. Johnson's 7th grade Tech Ed class.

Whatever, I'm done ranting for the day.  Good luck this weekend with God's Giant Vacuum Cleaner.



Cheers,

Bobbganoosh

The Cavs Draft Problems, the Tribe, and a shoutout to Charlie

I'm sorry, am I the only one who wanted to know why Bernie Kosar, Josh Cribbs, and Joe Haden were at the lottery pick last night for the NBA Draft?  Gilbert's 14-year old son, who suffers from Neurofibromatosis  sat on stage like a boss, wearing a bow tie and thick rimmed glasses when he "does not require them" ala Nick Pappagiorgio. 



Look, I'm happy for the Cavs, who now own the first and fourth pick in this year's draft.  I have to ask though, who thinks that Kyrie Irving is really going to have an impact on this team?  The Cavs history in the draft does not bode well for Irving lighting the league on fire.  Let's look at some of the first  round gems they have selected over the past 15 years:

1996: Vitaly Potapenko- 12th Overall Pick    BUST

1997: Derek Anderson- 13th Overall Pick     QB, Arizona Cardinals

1998: Ryan Stack- 48th Overall Pick             BUST

1999: Andre Miller- 8th Overall Pick             Decent Selection, had some good years in CLE
          Trajon Langdon- 11th Overall Pick     BUST

2000: Jamal Crawford- 8th Overall Pick        Traded to Chicago for their pick, Chris Mihm <headslap>
                                                                     For those of you who don't remember Chris Mihm, he was
                                                                     a pussy.  A soft, 7 footer, who rode the coattails of Kobe to
                                                                     a ring in Los Angeles while not playing a single playoff minute.

2001: Desagana Diop- 8th Overall Pick         BUST
          Brendan Haywood- 20th Overall Pick  Traded to Orlando for Michael Doleac....fuck me

2002: Dajuan Wagner- 6th Overall Pick         Carlos Boozer was taken in 2nd round...

2003: LeBron James- 1st Overall Pick           Gave CLE best basketball it has ever seen, left team in ruins
                                                                      after his departure

2004: Luke Jackson- 10th Overall Pick         Played 46 games in first 2 seasons, now playing in NBDL

2005: No First Round Picks

2006: Shannon Brown- 25th Overall Pick     Never saw the floor time deserved; playing best ball of career
                                                                    in Los Angeles with the Lakers

2007: No Selections

2008: J.J. Hickson- 19th Overall Pick           Jury is still out on Hickson;  Can show flashes of brilliance, but
                                                                    can also look lost on the floor.

2009: Christian Eyenga- 30th Overall Pick    Got first solid playing time in 2010-2011 season

2010:  No Selections

Taking a kid who played in 11 games in college due to a ligament injury to his foot and has already been quoted as saying " I'm not LeBron James" tells me he doesn't want the weight of a town on his shoulders, or weak foot.  Most mock drafts have Enes Kanter going at the 4 spot to the Cavs.  The same Enes Kanter who committed to play for the Washington Huskies, then reopened his recruiting and landed at Kentucky with the most upstanding coach in America, John Calipari.  He never laced the shoes up once because of a NCAA violation for  accepting $33,000 in benefits and was given the title of "Student Assistant Coach".  This just sounds like trouble.

In brighter news, the Indians have put up 26 runs in the last two games against the Royals.  The bats have come alive, and the pitching has been stout the entire year.  Here is to hoping this team is not a flash in the pan, and can endure through the dog days of summer and bring this city into a pennant race.

In personal news, The Peanut's grandfather, who is the man, undergoes a very serious operation today at the Clinic.  Everyone send him your well wishes for a successful surgery, and a quick recovery.

Cheers,

Bobbaganoosh

Inaugural Post

To those of you who will actually visit this blog, welcome!  Sorry that you have nothing better to do than read the ramblings of an opiniated ass like me.  I thought I would start one after I learned The Peanut did nothing but read them 7 hours a day, ballpark.

I signed up for a half marathon in Columbus this afternoon after The Peanut finished her first one yesterday, posting a solid 2:13 in the first half The Peanut has run.  Not bad, for someone who's hardest running in their life was at parties as an underaged undergrad, and that was usually in sandals.

It's The Moose's mother's birthday today.  She hits the Big 5-0, and would probably kill me for telling this to the world (or 3 people who actually read this blog.)  Happy Birthday Mom.  For all your eccentricities, I love you.

Whoever said "April Showers bring May flowers" can kiss my ass, as it seems that it hasn't stopped raining in 57 days.  Living in Cleveland this spring has almost been a fate worse than death.  I don't even bother making tee times anymore because I know I will just be playing through a varying degree of rain, and no one else is stupid enough to want to play in this crap.

Anyway, I think I am done for post numero uno.  I will hop on here and give my thoughts on anything I see that I want to vent about.  If you dont agree, or don't want to read the blog anymore, there is an alternative for you at this site.

Cheers,

The Moose